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Monday, August 3, 2015

Stewing

I'm feeling quite unsettled. Things around me do not seem to be progressing with an ease and predictability. I'm not the only one, many people I've spoken to are in a state of flux. I enjoy order, or at least the illusion of such, and these seemingly random occurrences and sidebars have left me floundering. I feel exhausted and agitated, confused as to the meaning of it all.

Even this week's post feels disjointed and lacking clarity and purpose in my mind but I do what I do each and every week, I share with my reader's what is present in my awareness. This week, that happens to be a sea of confusion. I trust that each and every one of you has moments that have felt the same.
 
I can't figure out the point of any of it and the best I can conclude is that is the point, stop trying to figure it out and trust that what is brewing and causing me to stew will eventually make sense. Eventually, I've just realized I hate that word. Eventually requires blind faith but all this chaos makes me want to rip off the blinders so that I might know now what it is the universe is formulating. But the more I struggle, the deeper I sink into the quicksand of frustration. It's best to relax and bob along the surface to where it is I am being lead.
 
As I relinquish the struggle I see myself floating along on the lazy river, buoyed by a purple swim noodle. "Oh, so there is support," I hear my mind state with a sigh of relief. I relax and stop my mental ping pong match, no longer attempting to follow each and every volley or event and connect it to some importance or path. Instead, I simply glide through all that seems to whiz by me and accept that sometimes the answers are not initially available.
 
Resignation sets in, not in the form of defeat but in the shape of release and acceptance. Yes, things are happening and right now I know not the reason why, only that there is a reason, one that I will be privy to when the time is right. Until then, there is nothing I need do but flow, allowing myself passage through all the confetti that is being tossed about in my day. Ultimately I trust that as it all settles what will lie before me will be a new and vibrant mosaic, the newest stepping stone on my walk of life. 
 
Be well and happy.
 

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