Monday, February 15, 2016


Part of me feels like I shouldn’t be writing about this topic at all because you already know the truth of what I’m about to say. Yet, I found myself explaining this truth to a few individuals since last we chatted and for me that’s a sign to put it out there, thus I will.  But, perhaps we will keep it short and simple because it really is not complicated.

Any time there is an issue in any relationship, not just an intimate one but most especially an intimate one, someone needs to be brave enough to bring it to light. We’ve all been guilty of letting the fear of a possible increase in the conflict snap our mouths closed. We say nothing lest it create more tension- at least that’s our initial theory.

But… you know what I’m about to say, don’t you? Ignoring the issue only fuels the energy behind it and eventually it, and you, will implode and explode. The implosion is like a slow death as the distance between the individuals becomes a vast chasm, each person pulling into themselves. The explosion is the grand finale where everyone must duck for cover because words, thoughts, feelings and actions have been weaponized while passing time in their bunker of resentment.

The practice of keeping your mouth shut to keep the peace is a disaster waiting to happen, and it often does. Nothing can be rectified if never owned or spoken of; and by the time it shoots like a cannon into your life, that small, initial irritation has become a systemic cancer that devours your relationship.

See, you know this. You get what I’m saying, yet so many times I witness the deer in the headlights stare as others dare to contemplate discussing a serious concern with someone in their life. We’ve all been there.

And if we do dare to speak our truth in an attempt at honesty, we cringe when the others’ reaction is less than favorable. See, I never should have said anything is our first thought. But the problem isn’t in saying something, the problem is the problem; and by zipping our mouths shut tight we only make it bigger and badder.

So, what I offer you this week is a refresher course on the importance communicating with those in your life, it is an act of love that we all deserve.

Be well and happy.

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