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Monday, June 15, 2015

'Til Death Do Us Part

That is the answer to the question I so often receive from clients, "How long do you think this will take?" What they're referring to is their process of growth and healing. So many times others want me to stamp a date on the time-line of their life for when they will resolve what ever issue(s) might be facing them. So many times they've been under the influence of said issue(s) for 30, 40, 50 or even 60 years and they want it all fixed in an hour or two. Folks, I'm not Jesus and I can not perform instant miracles but I can support and guide others if they make the choice to invest in themselves and miracles of their own making.
 
And let's be clear, it is a choice once some clarity and insight has been offered to us. When we don't know or understand the key factors that have led us to certain points or relationships in our life we are operating on an autopilot of sorts. But, once the spotlight shines upon the trail that took us to our present moment, we then stand at the proverbial fork in the road. Are we going to take the road that leads to awareness and growth or the one that offers continued denial and more of the same?
 
I certainly have known many that prefer to turn a blind eye to their inner world and its manifestations, their choice is to remain the same. One of the lines from the song Free Will by Rush reflects this beautifully as it reminds us that even in choosing not to make a choice, we are indeed still making a choice- in this instance consciousness vs. unconsciousness. If another chooses not to change or understand themselves more fully, than I think it is vital to take ownership of that choice because at that point we cease being a victim of others and are now willing participants in any drama that follows.
 
While that is not the path I have chosen for myself, I do understand that in many ways it feels more comfortable and provides the illusion of safety because there is a familiarity to the story, we know how it's going to play out because we've done it many times over. Those of us that choose the trail of self awareness are stepping into an unknown world and carrying with us the hope that we will eventually land on softer ground.
 
Time, patience and effort are necessary in the survival pack of personal growth. There are no quick fixes and dedication is paramount if we are to stand against the tides of all that came before because it will most certainly attempt to knock our feet out from under us as we make strides to test our newfound limbs of healing and insight.
 
We will trip and fall, it is certain, but the goal is simply to remain aware we have stumbled and make attempts to pull ourselves upright. Forward is where we are headed but many times we will pass through our personal ghost towns to get there, some will be appear to be favored vacation spots as we curse that fact that we stand one more time in a place we swore we would never return.
 
You see, personal growth is a layered process, not linear in nature. We will revisit the same or similar issues and themes many times over as we very slowly peel away that which continues to hinder us on our trek of self actualization. Some obstacles we face will be easier than others to overcome, but all will reappear on our journey until we have resolved the issue or have fully integrated its lessons.
 
So, how long will it take? As long as it takes. Our progress is in direct relation to our efforts, focus and greater good. There is no finish line, except death, as one step leads us to the next and yet another stage of learning. In embracing this truth we are relieved of the pressure to "get it right" and no longer struggle to reach the illusory final destination. 
 
Be well and happy.
 
 

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