I return from my time away with an updated prescription for my internal vision. For the moment I see things with a fresher angle. Stepping out of my day to day routine while on vacation reminded me that it's a big world out there, and mine is just a minuscule fraction of its enormity.
There's so many lifestyles to observe and personalities to behold. Even the landscape holds and presents a unique energy and message. I was immersed in a world where others appeared only to be focused on moving from one external distraction to the next, and I have to say I found it a refreshing reprieve from my normal mental and emotional analysis and pondering. I too found myself letting go of my need to know and understand the significance of each and every moment that presented itself to me. I simply didn't care, not in a cold and removed way but from a place of acceptance and flow.
As the blinders fell away, taking me from tunnel vision to panavision, I sensed my very limited ability and knowledge in understanding this complex universe. Mine is but one simplistic take on an expansive and limitless experience, and my ego was okay with that. Actually, there was a relief of sorts as the internal burden I have placed upon myself to uncover the answers simply fell away, allowing my spirit an enormous sigh.
In truth, I must admit that I originally had plans to take just one week off from my usual blog posts but I felt I was being pushed to extend my break. I fought what I was being asked to do, or more accurately not do. I felt a compulsive sense of responsibility to my duty, to reach out to all of you and provide a moment of insight and connection. What could possibly happen if I let two weeks pass before posting instead of one I can not say, all I do know is that it seemed as though I was not fulfilling my commitment.
This wasn't an egoic energy, but was nevertheless an over inflated mode of importance. Somewhere long ago I had learned that I was responsible for others' feelings and healing and I became a self-appointed shepherd leading them out of the darkness. The universe was encouraging me to take a back seat, watch the show as it unfolded and know I do not have to be the director and tour guide for everyone that might cross my path. Life will move on without me, and people will find their way. I simply wasn't that important.
The message was not that I held no value, I understood I am indeed invaluable, but that the burden doesn't rest squarely on my shoulders. The cosmos are chock full of beings and opportunities, many much wiser and more impactful than me, that can pick up where I might have left off. I was being put in my very humble place. It felt refreshing as I sensed and knew the universal orchestrations for myself and others. I was reminded that I was not running a one man show but am in truth a microcosm of something far greater than my human mind can comprehend.
The same can be said for each and every one of you. Perhaps it manifests in your life each time you find yourself saying "Yes" to the next committee, meeting or chairperson role when what you really mean is "No". Are you still performing household chores and duties for your family long past the time they are capable of pitching in with a helping hand? Let it go. Let the pieces fall where they may. Somehow, someway they will be picked up. Perhaps not in the fashion that you deem fit, but one that might serve another by offering a valuable lesson or an improved insight. Yours, and mine, is not the only way nor are we held solely accountable for how things do turn out.
Take a vacation, if not to a foreign land or new destination take the time to travel to an area close to your home where you have yet to explore. Take a different route to your typical destinations or eat at a new restaurant and simply observe the vast possibilities, experiences and people that are at play outside of the four metaphoric walls of your life. Know that none of us has all the answers, or responsibility. It's okay to say, "I don't know," or, "I'm not going to fix that" and, "I'm taking a break." There is a great freedom in those words, one that I hope will find their way into your world and your heart.
Be well and happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment