Interview with Kellie Springer for memoir- Relentless: A Journey of Forg...

Signs, Signs

Many of us are aware of the song that tells us that signs are everywhere. I have indeed found this to be the truth on my own journey of growth and healing. Once we aspire to increased personal awareness the universe conspires to support us in that quest.

Each and everything we encounter is purposeful in that it nudges us forward in our goal, if we are in tune to its presence. Some signs are delivered to us in neon, making them nearly unavoidable, while others are whispered phrases from our intuition or spoken words from another’s tongue. Each beckons us to examine them and ask what insight they have to come share.

The worst thing we can do with these offerings is to ignore them. Many times the mind supersedes the flashes of guidance being presented, discounting its importance and what we feel to be its meaning. I beg of you, do not heed the fearful chattering of your mind, but simply follow the trail of metaphoric crumbs that have been laid out for you on your path back to yourself.

That is exactly what I have done as I embarked on my odyssey of personal healing, one that led me to self-compassion and forgiveness of myself and others. No matter how insignificant the presentation seemed to my mental interpretation, I dared to explore its teachings. Never did the universe cease from sharing as it suggested, “Try this,” and “Did you hear that?”

Below is another excerpt from my memoir, Relentless, A Journey of Forgiveness, due to be released on Amazon next month. It is a prime example of the sometimes simple but profound tools that are given to us learn anew.

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A Timeless Tale

Hans Christian Andersen came to lend me a helping hand as I sought to release and rebuild, or at least his story, The Ugly Duckling, had.

I kept having flashes of images from the version adapted and illustrated by Jerry Pinkney, one I had read to my boys in years past. I also kept hearing the title over and over again. What I remembered about the times I had read this story was my feelings of sympathy for the sad little duckling that struggled to fit in while enduring the others’ cruelties and, of course, the jubilation at his victorious ending.

Next the phrase, “I’m a swan,” kept replaying in my mind. At first I scoffed at idea that I was a swan, a seemingly vain proclamation, but it would not cease its incessant trumpeting into my awareness. Obviously, I was meant to listen, not just to the words, but the message itself.

Soon enough, I grasped that what I was being shown was the simple truth that I was the odd bird, the one that could never fit in and fully belong to my family of origin because I was a different breed. That’s not to say I was better than they, just that I was not the same. I could never be a duck because I was a swan; there was no changing that core truth. All of my years of trying to fit in to their mold were in vain, and could have only ended in the defeat that had become so familiar to me. I got it. There was never anything wrong with me!

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and I openly embraced a children’s story as my guide. Perhaps my process sounds quite elementary, but I tell you my shoulders dropped in relief yet another notch as I allowed the understanding to wipe away a bit more of the self-loathing grime that smothered and blanketed my soul.

Perhaps the story was also an omen of things to come, that I might just get my fairytale ending, but only after completing several more chapters of my own life.

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I encourage you to adjust your dial to the universal broadcast and those flashes it interjects into your days as guideposts for what may come if you simply follow their lead. It is those things that cause you to pause, ponder and question- maybe even give you an internal jolt- that are the keys to the doors which you seek to unlock. It is through these signs that you can know that you are never alone or hopeless on your trek.

Be well and happy.

My book is now available on Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer

Rising to the Occasion

I've spent the past four years in the process of creating a book which might express the words of my heart and soul. It's contents are my travels for over the past twenty-five years within myself. It speaks of my path of healing for abuses I suffered as a child, but it is the voice of many that are committed to personal growth, self compassion and understanding. My words are authentic and raw. And it is with my words that I hope to inspire others on their on unique journeys. 

My mind has given me many reasons to "close the book" but it is my soul that pulls me forward and asks me to stand tall. I can only have faith that what I'm about to share has a purpose for someone, somewhere. Who am I to deny them what might  be an offering of understanding, validation and truth? Not sharing my story might be an act of self preservation, but it is possible that it would also be quite selfish.

And so, I move tentatively forward and onward, but I am moving just the same.


Below is an excerpt from my memoir, Relentless, A Journey of Forgiveness, which is to be released within the next couple of weeks on Amazon. I hope you will join me again soon for my completed book and that which I have come to share. 

I’m not a writer, nor do I pretend to be. In fact, while I admire the ability of those who can spin a spectacular tale, I don’t aspire to be that. If I bog my mind down with the rules of eloquent writing, I’ll lose my truth. And the truth is I’ve followed no road map to get me here as it’s often been my own private excursion, as a pioneer of my own landscape. No how-to manual was placed in my hands. There were no classes to take. I just took one step and then another, and so that’s how I’ll write, clear on my purpose and trusting that the path will be laid before me if I only have the courage to begin. What you now hold in your hands is the contents of the compartments of my life.

What are you being called to share, and will you too rise to the occasion?

Be well and happy.

My Book is now available on Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer

"Ancora Imparo"

That quote, translated as "I am still learning", is attributed to Michelangelo on his 87th birthday and could not be a more fitting phrase for my week, and my guess is for yours as well. It seems to me that we are all here learning multiple lessons, many times over. Just when we think we've mastered one particular hurdle, it presents itself directly in our path once again, only to cause us to stumble and fall.

My knees got skinned up this week as I too tripped over my own obstacles. It was a very familiar theme that I battled, that being fighting a losing battle. The title of my blog is by no means an exaggeration, I am relentless. I have held strong in the face of many assaults, but the hardest war ever waged has been within myself and has been about knowing when to disengage.

A relative's verbal onslaught returned me to that place in my mind where I charged the gauntlet that had been thrown down, with the tenacity of a bulldog. I become hell bent on engaging their irrational behaviors, hoping only to convince them of their outlandish and utterly ridiculous display. That quickly I am returned to the days of my childhood where I stood toe to toe with the insanity of my parents. Then it was truly about my survival. Today, time and space allow me to see the futility in trying to convince them of anything.

I had to walk away, from the bloodshed and from them. It's one of the hardest things I had to do because I am not a quitter and my heart had hopes of bringing them into a place of healing with me. The toughest lesson for me to learn, by far, is that a smart soldier knows when to turn and leave, not admitting defeat but instead displaying acceptance. In that acceptance the rage of a warrior is replaced with the grief of saying goodbye, cutting one of the last tenuous strings that kept us connected. It was ultimately a loving act not just for myself, but for them as well as I refused to continue to remain in conflict; playing a game that had only losers.

And so, I faltered for a few days on lessons not yet fully integrated, but the good news is that I was embattled for days, and no longer years. I have learned, and clearly, am still learning. I played out old energies within my mind but ultimately returned to my heart and permitted the tears to add another layer of healing to a time and place that is long gone. Today's family member had taken me there, but it was me that found my way out. I had come full circle, my dogged personality returning me to a moment of healing and truth, not a place of entanglement.

It is true, each and every one of us shall fall but the lesson is always, "What is the lesson?" With that spirit in mind we will remain victorious wherever life may lead us.

Be well and happy.

My Book: http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer