Sacred Moments

I returned from my vacation to be thrust right back into the throws of motherhood. There were clothes to wash, grocery shopping to complete and meals to make, my flock awaiting my clearly defined duties. I fell right back into the swing of things but with one difference I was not expecting, I felt absolutely divine performing these normal, everyday tasks of living. It seems the vacation had given me the time and space to view my life from a new perspective.

I always knew my care-taking role was of importance, but suddenly I felt that running my children to the local Kohl's for sweatpants was nothing short of a blessed act. That I was providing nurturing for another soul felt monumentally significant. I could sense the beauty of my actions and feel the love filling the cabin of my SUV.

Over the past 17 years of being a mom I've executed similar acts many times over and I've made a point of reminding myself that what I do, no matter that it might seem mundane, is significant in the development of my children; that it provides them with a sense of self-worth and importance. Through my actions they understand that they matter, I mentally "got it" but have never felt the expanse of loving energy as clearly as I have most recently. I was no longer "doing" but was instead "feeling" and I was filled with nothing but gratitude that I might be in the position to shower another with acts of love.

The wonder of this understanding was that not only was I performing loving actions for others, not just my children but that the converse was true as well, that others were doing the same for me in kind. Again, I intellectually grasped this concept prior but now the loving deeds of others towards me hit me in waves of great comfort and joy, quite simply I felt love everywhere. To fully feel the impact of this truth that we've all been told many times over is the way of our universe, leaves me feeling humbled and immensely grateful.

Instantly the fear kicked in and I become concerned that I would lose this new found level of emotional wisdom. That's where my years of personal growth and awareness come into play and I realize that by focusing on that fear and loss, I will surely bring it into my reality. Thus, I continue to make concerted efforts to focus on the love that ripples throughout my day and my life, not its potential deficit.

I wish I could bottle this feeling and send it to each and every one of you so that you too might drink this sweet nectar and feel the hallowed grace of every act you perform for those significant to you in your daily life, as well as those they share with you. As my eyes well with tears, I know that nothing we do for another, not matter how humdrum it may appear, is ever wasted or insignificant. Millions, in fact, more than billions, of loving actions are enacted every second of every day in our day to day lives. Put your rose colored glasses on and see your world, our world, with the splendor that it is.

I leave you with a quote I found only minutes ago, a message from the universe to me and you: " What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal."-Albert Pine

Be well and happy.

MyMemoir: http://tinyurl.com/relentlessbyspringer

How the Self-help Community is NOT Helping Us

I know, it sounds like an oxymoron, that title. But watching, listening and reading various blurbs post-election reminded once more that those intending to enlighten us on our spiritual paths are sometimes keeping us in the dark. How so?

Like many on the planet following the most recent USA presidential election, I took to the internet to connect, understand and process my many and varied thoughts and feelings. So many times I was bombarded with the notion that I should focus only on ‘the love’. It was suggested that I send, feel, radiate and embody only love.  And it only left me feeling hostile, unseen and unheard.

I most certainly embrace the notion that love was what the tumultuous situation needed but like many others, I wasn’t there yet. I resented the seeming denial of all my other emotions. I was scared, sad, enraged, confused, hopeless and anxious. Nowhere could I find the love. I couldn’t find it because it was buried underneath the avalanche of other feelings, feelings that required my introspection, venting and processing before I could once more stand with an open heart. They demanded my time and attention and I willing gave it to them.

That isn’t to say that my goal was to stay stuck in the muck of anger, my intention was to return to a place of calm and clarity, but I was simply refusing to ignore what else I was experiencing. I knew those experiences had something to teach me, and bulldozing my way through it would get me nowhere in very short order.

Why?

Let me ask you this: Have you ever felt angry, expressed that anger to another and been told, ‘You have nothing to be angry about,’ or ‘Your anger is only hurting you. Let it go,’? And how did you feel after those wise words were shared with you? Chances are, you felt even more livid, or at the very least intent on staying pissed off for as long as you damn well pleased.

What wasn’t offered in the scenario above is validation, the sense that another heard your emotions and needs. And being heard and seen is what each one of us craves. Others don’t necessarily have to agree with us, though we do enjoy the reciprocity, but only acknowledge our feeling and sharing. “Wow, I can tell you’re really ticked off,” goes a long way to allowing us to release our grasp on what we deem the most unpleasant feelings.

Which takes us back to the title of this post.

What I would like the self-help community, of which I am a part, to offer is permission for others to healthfully express the more uncomfortable thoughts and emotions. Express them in a fashion that is not attacking or hurtful to another with the intention of creating a flow. The flow will eventually (there is no time limit) release the mental chattering and clutter so that in time our place of center and calm can be seen and felt, and it is there that we can find the love.

It is my belief that we are on this planet Earth for a human experience. Part of that human experience is the vast amount of feelings offered to us. We do ourselves and others a disservice by not offering permission to be human. So I say, permission granted.

Be well and happy.

My memoir: http://tinyurl.com/relentlessbyspringer

This is the Mantra of Personal Growth

I made a recent post on Twitter that seemed to resonate with so many people and it got me to thinking…wondering exactly why.

Below is my tweet:

The first thing that struck me is that all of those people must be able to relate to feeling hurt by someone. I think it goes without saying that for all of us, the hurt will come in some form or fashion via betrayal, deception, malice or abuse of some sort, and usually at the hand of another human being. A human being unkind, thoughtless, selfish or cruel.

And therein lies our test, how do we react or cope with the pain? Do we embody those emotions, the feelings that the one that harmed us most surely felt as well as they lashed out? Do we become and own what has been thrown into the boxing ring?

It can be so very hard not to take a swing, at anyone really, for the punch we took. It’s often easier and swifter to pass along what has been dished out to us, but that is when we then lose ourselves. And we know it. And we grapple to heal, let go and accept.

That is exactly where I found myself as I sought healing and understanding for the violent and abusive acts I endured as a child, acts that began to turn me into someone I didn’t want, or know, myself to be. Below is an excerpt where I share just that:

                                                                                ***

Vengeance Is Not Mine

This book isn’t an act of revenge; it’s always been about healing and freeing myself from my past, releasing the vice grip of my parents. I was desperate to no longer carry them and their burdens in every cell of my being, everywhere I traveled. No matter where I turned, it felt as if their actions and misdeeds were some gelatinous parasite that had fused itself to my being. 

If I was motivated by revenge, then I would never have sought a way out. I would simply have acted and continued to act from my place of rage, the place that wanted to fight back and hurt in turn. I would not have been the seeker of understanding, processing, and compassion. I would have lashed out again and again, never satisfied with the level of chaos and pain I inflicted, always wanting to make them squirm in agony as they had done to me so many times before.

Let’s be realistic: I had fantasies of just that. It would have been so easy to go with what had become the norm, the stormy waters, but easy was never my way. Instead, I learned to surf the emotional rogue wave. I refused to allow it to completely pull me under, drown my spirit, or wreak a lifetime of havoc and emotional torture to anyone that got in my way. I was taught by a master, but remotely I knew that I am not him, nor am I what he taught me.

I caught that wave again and again until it carried me to the mystical land of forgiveness, for myself and them, where I finally released the anchor that bound me to the hope that the past could have been different. So far it’s taken me more than twenty-five years to unlearn what I was schooled in as a student. For me, this book is about remembering and re-learning who and what is my truth and having the courage to share that with the world, often feeling emotionally stripped and naked. I said he was a master, but what he didn’t realize was that I am as well. But unlike him, I chose not to master others, only myself.

                                                                                ***

And that is the challenge that is offered to us all as we make this way through this existence. There is no right way or deadline to meet. All that is asked is that we try, because trying is one step closer to our truth, not the truth of the one that hurt us. If you haven’t done so already, perhaps today is where it can begin for you too.

Be well and happy.

My Memoir: http//tinyurl.com/relentlessbyspringer

Interview with Kellie Springer for memoir- Relentless: A Journey of Forg...