tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30056066618169912942024-03-13T12:09:54.002-07:00Relentless: The BlogDispelling the myths and illusions that often pervade our minds and culture.Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-43761055136363417702017-02-17T15:18:00.003-08:002017-02-17T15:18:34.641-08:00To All Those That Sit In Judgement<div class="MsoNormal">
“I don’t care, I would <i>never</i> do that!” stated another directly to me. She was referring to a choice that I made many years ago. My choice had harmed no one nor was it catastrophic by any means, except to this stranger that I had met only two hours before.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And I believed her, I believed that <i>she</i> would not have made the same decisions as me.<i> She</i> had not endured sexual abuse from the age of four to twenty- one by her father.<i> She</i> had not been fondled by a teenager when she was the tender age of about five. <i>She</i> had not sat beside her flute teacher that molested her each week at a scheduled time and place. <i>She</i> was not witness to the strangulation of her mother and her dog for at least the first twelve years of her life by the man she called “Dad”. <i>She</i> didn’t stand in horror as “Dad” stomped on her brother’s head. <i>She</i> had not made attempts to save her mother time and time again from the physical and emotional pain- because no one else would. <i>She </i>wasn’t strangled herself for speaking up about the sexual abuse. <i>She</i> did not suffer the greatest betrayal of all- that her mother would then turn on her, strangling her too. <i>She</i> didn’t spend her childhood wondering if she would die that night in her very own home at the hands of her very own father. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And she knew all of this about me and more as she had recently read my memoir. She knew it all but proclaimed her statement with such assuredness that I was left dumbfounded.<o:p></o:p></div>
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She sat in a place of luxury to be able to make that proclamation. Certainly, she knew nothing of the torture, self-doubt, anxiety, rage, panic, self-loathing and worthlessness that plagued me daily and for years- not the mention the desperation to be loved. No, that wasn’t in her tale but I am not envious of her.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Because my life taught me empathy. I came to know that when life brings us to our knees, we need a hand up, not a shove to the ground. I learned that even when we don’t hit the bulls-eye of what is our best, we still get points for trying. I understood that growth and healing is a process of trial and error and that we cannot know what we have never been taught. I found that the best type of understanding and compassion came from the self; and when I had enough to spare I gave it to my abusers in my attempts to understand their actions. I had been schooled by my life’s history and it was an oft times a painful lesson.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And I wish none of that for her. What I do wish for her is that she is never brought so low that she can’t find her way out and if she does get lost, I pray someone is there to light the path and hold the door open for her. What I hope is that if life does knock the wind out of her, there is another to offer her the empathy she never handed me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Be well and happy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-67615321576169642502017-01-09T15:46:00.003-08:002017-01-09T15:46:36.891-08:00Confessions of A Dead Man<div class="_graf_p" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Merriweather, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 20px;">
This post has been swimming around in my mind for a month or so. I was struggling as to how I might make it fitting for anyone that chose to read it. Today, I have come to the realization that I am going to make this all about me. If you care to join me on my travels, I welcome you; and if not, I hope to see you soon.</div>
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If you are still here, I feel I must warn you that our time together might be a bit longer than is typical for it’s not a short story AND it is also a story that has some parts that folks might find disturbing. You’ve been warned and now off we go.</div>
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First, I must give you a brief synopsis of my life, that would be forty-eight years crammed into a few paragraphs but I am feeling ambitious and so let’s begin-</div>
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I am a recent author of my memoir,<b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;"><i style="box-sizing: border-box;"> Relentless: A Journey of </i></b><i style="box-sizing: border-box;"><b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;">Forgiveness</b></i> (My apologies for those that are already aware of this fun fact.). It is there that I put pen to paper, or more accurately fingertips to the keyboard, to share with others my travels of healing and personal growth for the abuses I suffered as a child. As I plodded along on my path of self-discovery, I ultimately found myself reaching the pivotal point of forgiveness. That is my book and life in a nutshell and as the readers of my story know all too well, the actions, hurt, and brutality have always been denied by my abusers.</div>
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My book was written while both of my parents were still alive, but was in the midst of publication when my father, who played an abusive starring role, passed. It was after his journey into the afterlife that I was informed that approximately two weeks prior to his death, sensing that he was on his way out, he sought out one of my relatives and specifically asked them to ban me from his memorial services. It was also explained to me that upon his deathbed he was directly asked if he wanted to see me one more time, we had not been in contact for twenty-five years, and his answer was to shake his head ‘no’. For me,<i style="box-sizing: border-box;"> it felt as if he had abused me, quite intentionally, yet again.</i></div>
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So now you’re kinda, sorta up to speed on the backstory.</div>
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What came next was a series of what I believed were ‘signs’ from him. Numerous and various interjections occurred throughout my days that always reminded me of him. I had an inkling that he was trying to contact me (<i style="box-sizing: border-box;">I am not here to argue on the validity of that truth or what happens once we die.</i>) but ceased downplaying what was happening on the day I was driving down the road and spied his name, spelled just as his was, emblazoned on the mud flaps of the truck that was right in front of me. <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">Okay</i>, I thought,<i style="box-sizing: border-box;"> I will listen to what it is you wish to say</i>. It was then that I proceeded to search for a medium. (<i style="box-sizing: border-box;">Again, I do not wish debate, this time on the credibility of</i> a <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">medium</i>.) Once I made the appointment to connect with him via the medium, it became clear to me that I wanted the truth from him. <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">Will I get it</i>, I wondered,<i style="box-sizing: border-box;"> or will he stay true to form even in death?</i></div>
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I sat across from the medium and the connection with him was instant, there was no denying it was my father based on the information he offered. The first thing I posed to him was very direct and intentional, “Tell me what you did to me when I was a little girl.”</div>
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She shared that<b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;"> he presented with a cloak over his head, viewing her with only one eye and head bent in shame</b>. He owned up to the actions he had denied my entire life, he had sexually abused me. In fact, he took responsibility for even more details and behaviors than my conscious mind recalls. He shared other abuses he perpetrated, and those I had suspected, on other family members. He no longer held onto the lie that he hadn’t strangled me, confessing indeed he had.<b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;"> He admitted that his denials were simply blatant lies, for he remembered it all.</b></div>
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My father went so far as to offer me a glimpse into the motivation for his abusiveness: In sexually abusing me he convinced himself that the pleasure was mutual, though i<b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;">n truth he understood his</b> <b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;">actions were far from acceptable</b>. He professed that in the moments that he strangled me or another family member he wasn’t out of conscious control of his behaviors but was instead asserting his role as leader and letting us know who was the boss. He explained that<b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;"> he was in fear I would tell the truth </b>and that was indeed one of the reasons he did strangle me, it was his attempt to silence me. In another moment of strangulation, he was jealous, jealous of the fact that my music teacher was touching me as well because <b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;">I was his</b> <b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;">possession</b>. He voiced the truths and patterns of other family members’ personalities that were a direct result of his vile behaviors.</div>
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He even shared that it was his male ego taking its final stand against me when he purposefully left instructions to keep me away from his services. <b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;">Guilt</b>, he reported, was what<b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;"> allowed him to shun me</b> on his deathbed. “He’s saying that he felt guilty about what he had done to you. He couldn’t admit to himself what he had done, let alone you. And he wanted his wake to be about the good he had done in his life and if you showed up in the hospital it would all come out, and then that’s all that would be on everyone’s mind at his services,” stated the medium.</div>
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<b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;">He offered an apology</b> and was not making excuses when he said that he was a wounded person. He shared which adult relatives had sexually abused him as a child. Finally, he said that he was proud of my book, though making it clear that he would not have had that same perspective if he was still walking this planet.</div>
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And then our time together ended, yet again.</div>
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<b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;">I was left a bit sad </b>as I understood that his confessions left me knowing he had taken even more from me than my mind had allowed me to comprehend at those times. <b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;">I also felt gratitude </b>that for once he didn’t cling to his pattern of denial and blame, something the medium said she sees often even after another has made their transition.</div>
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What I have done with that interaction since is simply sit with it. I have and am allowing it all to slowly settle into my psyche and most recently my heart. I am not sure where to go with it all and in truth am not trying to figure that out. I am not clear where it will lead me, but today I do get that finally, finally something was solely about me and not them. My life had been cast from their wounds and always shadowed and dictated by their unmet needs but<b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;"> in that half hour I spent with him in spirit, he offered me something he never could in his physical life- <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">validation</i>.</b></div>
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And that is where I will leave you, now just realizing that you are in the same place as me as you permit this sharing to shift places within yourself. I have no lessons to share or insights to offer for I am still learning them myself. Where and what it will touch inside of you I don’t know and can’t say. Will it be your heart, fears or spirit? Only you can decide but this is where you pick up and I bow out. I’ve made this blog about me, with the hopes that it has something for you.</div>
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Be well and happy.</div>
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<b style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit !important; font-size: inherit !important;">My Memoir: http://tinyurl.com/relentlessbyspringer</b></div>
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</section>Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-41780001894754796622017-01-02T13:44:00.001-08:002017-01-02T13:44:18.113-08:00It's a New Year but You Don't Need a New You<div class="MsoNormal">
The pages of time have flipped the calendar from one year to the next and here we are yet again- being pummeled with the need to make resolutions and discover the ‘new you’ (said with intonations of a paid commercial announcer). <b><i>Yuck, aack and patoohy!</i></b></div>
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Enough already, I say. How about we stop looking for the new you and simply discover the <i>real</i> you? Stop encouraging others to make lofty goals of what they hope to become and instead suggest they get to know who they are. Because <i>that</i> is how change occurs.</div>
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When you discover your authentic expression, you will soon learn if those extra ten pounds speak of your truth; and truth is a much healthier motivator than shame. When you listen and give voice to your thoughts and feelings, you will know those parts of you that are often the cause of, and attached to, the actions you hate most about yourself. It is there that you will soon unearth self-understanding and self-compassion; the tried and true tools we need most, though not the latest gadget or quick-fix. When you follow your lifelong impulse to spontaneously draw, write, dance, or any other creative expression, instead of burying your face in the latest how-to/must-do book, sparks fly and you realize you are alive. Alive- meaning meant to live a life, not simply survive.</div>
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The old method of operation suggests that there is something wrong with us that needs fixing, what I am suggesting is that who you truly are is enough. Hell, better than enough- let’s go with spectacular and, my favorite, fantabulous! You simply never knew or have forgotten this universal fact.</div>
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Yes, certainly it’s best to do something with the time that has been handed to you, most recently labeled 2017, but call it ‘allowing’. Allowing you to become intimate with yourself. Allowing honest expression. Allowing your light to shine. Allowing the ups, downs, good and bad that are a natural part of human existence. Allowing ourselves to pause so that the ‘next step’ might be handed to us versus frantically sought. Allowing no resolutions, only flow.</div>
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I promise you that if you attempt even a tad of what I have suggested, what you will find in the New Year is the authentic you; and that is the greatest discovery of all time.</div>
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Be well and happy.</div>
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<b>My Memoir: http://tinyurl.com/relentlessbyspringer</b></div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-7891841066624911272016-12-23T07:36:00.001-08:002016-12-23T07:36:10.020-08:00Sacred Moments<div id="u1284-5" style="background-color: white; background-repeat: no-repeat; border-color: transparent; border-style: solid; border-width: 0px; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, "Palatino Linotype", Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 14px; max-height: 1e+06px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; transform-origin: left top 0px;">
I returned from my vacation to be thrust right back into the throws of motherhood. There were clothes to wash, grocery shopping to complete and meals to make, my flock awaiting my clearly defined duties. I fell right back into the swing of things but with one difference I was not expecting, I felt absolutely divine performing these normal, everyday tasks of living. It seems the vacation had given me the time and space to view my life from a new perspective.</div>
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I always <span id="u1284-8" style="font-style: italic;">knew</span> my care-taking role was of importance, but suddenly I <span id="u1284-10" style="font-style: italic;">felt</span> that running my children to the local Kohl's for sweatpants was nothing short of a blessed act. That I was providing nurturing for another soul felt monumentally significant. I could sense the beauty of my actions and feel the love filling the cabin of my SUV.</div>
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Over the past 17 years of being a mom I've executed similar acts many times over and I've made a point of reminding myself that what I do, no matter that it might seem mundane, is significant in the development of my children; that it provides them with a sense of self-worth and importance. Through my actions they understand that they matter, I mentally "got it" but have never felt the expanse of loving energy as clearly as I have most recently. I was no longer "doing" but was instead "feeling" and I was filled with nothing but gratitude that I might be in the position to shower another with acts of love.</div>
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The wonder of this understanding was that not only was I performing loving actions for others, not just my children but that the converse was true as well, that others were doing the same for me in kind. Again, I intellectually grasped this concept prior but now the loving deeds of others towards me hit me in waves of great comfort and joy, quite simply I felt love everywhere. To fully feel the impact of this truth that we've all been told many times over is the way of our universe, leaves me feeling humbled and immensely grateful.</div>
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Instantly the fear kicked in and I become concerned that I would lose this new found level of emotional wisdom. That's where my years of personal growth and awareness come into play and I realize that by focusing on that fear and loss, I will surely bring it into my reality. Thus, I continue to make concerted efforts to focus on the love that ripples throughout my day and my life, not its potential deficit.</div>
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I wish I could bottle this feeling and send it to each and every one of you so that you too might drink this sweet nectar and feel the hallowed grace of every act you perform for those significant to you in your daily life, as well as those they share with you. As my eyes well with tears, I know that nothing we do for another, not matter how humdrum it may appear, is ever wasted or insignificant. Millions, in fact, more than billions, of loving actions are enacted every second of every day in our day to day lives. Put your rose colored glasses on and see your world, our world, with the splendor that it is.</div>
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I leave you with a quote I found only minutes ago, a message from the universe to me and you: " What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal."-Albert Pine</div>
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Be well and happy.</div>
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<b>MyMemoi</b>r: http://tinyurl.com/relentlessbyspringer</div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-61904838821420172302016-12-10T11:46:00.006-08:002016-12-10T11:46:53.063-08:00How the Self-help Community is NOT Helping Us<div class="MsoNormal">
I know, it sounds like an oxymoron, that title. But watching, listening and reading various blurbs post-election reminded once more that those intending to enlighten us on our spiritual paths are sometimes keeping us in the dark. How so?</div>
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Like many on the planet following the most recent USA presidential election, I took to the internet to connect, understand and process my many and varied thoughts and feelings. So many times I was bombarded with the notion that I should focus only on ‘the love’. It was suggested that I send, feel, radiate and embody only love. And it only left me feeling hostile, unseen and unheard.</div>
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I most certainly embrace the notion that love was what the tumultuous situation needed but like many others, I wasn’t there yet. I resented the seeming denial of all my other emotions. I was scared, sad, enraged, confused, hopeless and anxious. Nowhere could I find the love. I couldn’t find it because it was buried underneath the avalanche of other feelings, feelings that required my introspection, venting and processing before I could once more stand with an open heart. They demanded my time and attention and I willing gave it to them.</div>
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That isn’t to say that my goal was to stay stuck in the muck of anger, my intention was to return to a place of calm and clarity, but I was simply refusing to ignore what else I was experiencing. I knew those experiences had something to teach me, and bulldozing my way through it would get me nowhere in very short order.</div>
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Why?</div>
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Let me ask you this: Have you ever felt angry, expressed that anger to another and been told, ‘You have nothing to be angry about,’ or ‘Your anger is only hurting you. Let it go,’? And how did you feel after those wise words were shared with you? Chances are, you felt even more livid, or at the very least intent on staying pissed off for as long as you damn well pleased.</div>
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What wasn’t offered in the scenario above is validation, the sense that another heard your emotions and needs. And being heard and seen is what each one of us craves. Others don’t necessarily have to agree with us, though we do enjoy the reciprocity, but only acknowledge our feeling and sharing. “Wow, I can tell you’re really ticked off,” goes a long way to allowing us to release our grasp on what we deem the most unpleasant feelings.</div>
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Which takes us back to the title of this post.</div>
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What I would like the self-help community, of which I am a part, to offer is permission for others to healthfully express the more uncomfortable thoughts and emotions. Express them in a fashion that is not attacking or hurtful to another with the intention of creating a flow. The flow will eventually (there is no time limit) release the mental chattering and clutter so that in time our place of center and calm can be seen and felt, and it is there that we can find the love.</div>
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It is my belief that we are on this planet Earth for a human experience. Part of that human experience is the vast amount of feelings offered to us. We do ourselves and others a disservice by not offering permission to be human. So I say, permission granted.</div>
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Be well and happy.</div>
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<b>My memoir: http://tinyurl.com/relentlessbyspringer</b></div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-81567991416012130832016-11-12T11:36:00.001-08:002016-11-12T11:47:28.069-08:00This is the Mantra of Personal Growth<div class="MsoNormal">
I made a recent post on Twitter that seemed to resonate with so many people and it got me to thinking…wondering exactly why.</div>
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Below is my tweet:</div>
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The first thing that struck me is that all of those people must be able to relate to feeling hurt by someone. I think it goes without saying that for all of us, the hurt will come in some form or fashion via betrayal, deception, malice or abuse of some sort, and usually at the hand of another human being. A human<i> being</i> unkind, thoughtless, selfish or cruel.</div>
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And therein lies our test, how do we react or cope with the pain? Do we embody those emotions, the feelings that the one that harmed us most surely felt as well as they lashed out? Do we become and own what has been thrown into the boxing ring?</div>
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It can be so very hard not to take a swing, at anyone really, for the punch we took. It’s often easier and swifter to pass along what has been dished out to us, but that is when we then lose ourselves. And we know it. And we grapple to heal, let go and accept.</div>
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That is exactly where I found myself as I sought healing and understanding for the violent and abusive acts I endured as a child, acts that began to turn me into someone I didn’t want, or know, myself to be. Below is an excerpt where I share just that:</div>
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***</div>
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<b><i>Vengeance Is Not Mine</i></b></div>
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<i>This book isn’t an act of revenge; it’s always been about healing and freeing myself from my past, releasing the vice grip of my parents. I was desperate to no longer carry them and their burdens in every cell of my being, everywhere I traveled. No matter where I turned, it felt as if their actions and misdeeds were some gelatinous parasite that had fused itself to my being. </i></div>
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<i>If I was motivated by revenge, then I would never have sought a way out. I would simply have acted and continued to act from my place of rage, the place that wanted to fight back and hurt in turn. I would not have been the seeker of understanding, processing, and compassion. I would have lashed out again and again, never satisfied with the level of chaos and pain I inflicted, always wanting to make them squirm in agony as they had done to me so many times before.</i></div>
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<i>Let’s be realistic: I had fantasies of just that. It would have been so easy to go with what had become the norm, the stormy waters, but easy was never my way. Instead, I learned to surf the emotional rogue wave. I refused to allow it to completely pull me under, drown my spirit, or wreak a lifetime of havoc and emotional torture to anyone that got in my way. I was taught by a master, but remotely I knew that I am not him, nor am I what he taught me. </i></div>
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<i>I caught that wave again and again until it carried me to the mystical land of forgiveness, for myself and them, where I finally released the anchor that bound me to the hope that the past could have been different. So far it’s taken me more than twenty-five years to unlearn what I was schooled in as a student. For me, this book is about remembering and re-learning who and what is my truth and having the courage to share that with the world, often feeling emotionally stripped and naked. I said he was a master, but what he didn’t realize was that I am as well. But unlike him, I chose not to master others, only myself.</i></div>
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<i> </i> ***</div>
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And that is the challenge that is offered to us all as we make this way through this existence. There is no right way or deadline to meet. All that is asked is that we try, because trying is one step closer to <i>our</i> truth, not the truth of the one that hurt us. If you haven’t done so already, perhaps today is where it can begin for you too.</div>
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Be well and happy.</div>
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<b>My Memoir</b>: http//tinyurl.com/relentlessbyspringer</div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-91000773422330180962016-10-06T14:41:00.001-07:002016-10-06T14:41:54.304-07:00Interview with Kellie Springer for memoir- Relentless: A Journey of Forg...<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/j4Fbg_H21Ac" width="480"></iframe>Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-32027282544451144632016-08-29T09:22:00.004-07:002016-09-17T08:58:53.194-07:00Signs, Signs<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Many of us are
aware of the song that tells us that signs are everywhere. I have indeed found
this to be the truth on my own journey of growth and healing. Once we aspire to
increased personal awareness the universe conspires to support us in that
quest. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Each and
everything we encounter is purposeful in that it nudges us forward in our goal,
if we are in tune to its presence. Some signs are delivered to us in neon,
making them nearly unavoidable, while others are whispered phrases from our
intuition or spoken words from another’s tongue. Each beckons us to examine
them and ask what insight they have to come share. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">The worst thing
we can do with these offerings is to ignore them. Many times the mind
supersedes the flashes of guidance being presented, discounting its importance
and what we feel to be its meaning. I beg of you, do not heed the fearful
chattering of your mind, but simply follow the trail of metaphoric crumbs that
have been laid out for you on your path back to yourself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">That is exactly
what I have done as I embarked on my odyssey of personal healing, one that led
me to self-compassion and forgiveness of myself and others. No matter how
insignificant the presentation seemed to my mental interpretation, I dared to
explore its teachings. Never did the universe cease from sharing as it
suggested, “Try this,” and “Did you hear that?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Below is
another excerpt from my memoir, <i>Relentless,
A Journey of Forgiveness</i>, due to be released on Amazon next month. It is a
prime example of the sometimes simple but profound tools that are given to us
learn anew. <b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> ******<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">A Timeless Tale<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Hans Christian
Andersen came to lend me a helping hand as I sought to release and rebuild, or
at least his story, <i>The Ugly Duckling</i>,
had.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I kept having
flashes of images from the version adapted and illustrated by Jerry Pinkney,
one I had read to my boys in years past. I also kept hearing the title over and
over again. What I remembered about the times I had read this story was my
feelings of sympathy for the sad little duckling that struggled to fit in while
enduring the others’ cruelties and, of course, the jubilation at his victorious
ending.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Next the
phrase, “I’m a swan,” kept replaying in my mind. At first I scoffed at idea
that I was a swan, a seemingly vain proclamation, but it would not cease its
incessant trumpeting into my awareness. Obviously, I was meant to listen, not
just to the words, but the message itself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Soon enough, I
grasped that what I was being shown was the simple truth that I was the odd
bird, the one that could never fit in and fully belong to my family of origin
because I was a different breed. That’s not to say I was better than they, just
that I was not the same. I could never be a duck because I was a swan; there
was no changing that core truth. All of my years of trying to fit in to their
mold were in vain, and could have only ended in the defeat that had become so
familiar to me. I got it. <i>There was never
anything wrong with me!<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Desperate times
call for desperate measures, and I openly embraced a children’s story as my
guide. Perhaps my process sounds quite elementary, but I tell you my shoulders
dropped in relief yet another notch as I allowed the understanding to wipe away
a bit more of the self-loathing grime that smothered and blanketed my soul.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Perhaps the
story was also an omen of things to come, that I might just get my </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">fairytale</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">
ending, but only after completing several more chapters of my own life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"> ******<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">I encourage you
to adjust your dial to the universal broadcast and those flashes it interjects
into your days as guideposts for what may come if you simply follow their lead.
It is those things that cause you to pause, ponder and question- maybe even
give you an internal jolt- that are the keys to the doors which you seek to
unlock. It is through these signs that you can know that you are never alone or
hopeless on your trek.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;">Be well and
happy.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><b>My book is now available on Amazon: </b></span><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer" style="color: #234281; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer</a></b><br />
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-56112774561302339582016-08-08T12:00:00.001-07:002016-09-17T08:59:42.395-07:00Rising to the Occasion<br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I've spent the past four years in the process of creating a book which might express the words of my heart and soul. It's contents are my travels for over the past twenty-five years within myself. It speaks of my path of healing for abuses I suffered as a child, but it is the voice of many that are committed to personal growth, self compassion and understanding. </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">My words are authentic and raw. And it is with my words that I hope to inspire others on their on unique</span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> journeys. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">My mind has given me many reasons to "close the book" but it is my soul that pulls me forward and asks me to stand tall. I can only have faith that what I'm about to share has a purpose for someone, somewhere. Who am I to deny them what might be an offering of understanding, validation and truth? Not sharing my story might be an act of self preservation, but it is possible that it would also be quite selfish.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">And so, I move tentatively forward and onward, but I am moving just the same.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Below is an excerpt from my memoir, <i>Relentless, A Journey of Forgiveness,</i> which is to be released within the next couple of weeks on Amazon. I hope you will join me again soon for my completed book and that which I have come to share. </span><br />
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<i>I’m not a writer, nor do I pretend to be. In fact, while I admire the ability
of those who can spin a spectacular tale, I don’t aspire to be that. If I
bog my mind down with the rules of eloquent writing, I’ll lose my truth.
And the truth is I’ve followed no road map to get me here as it’s often
been my own private excursion, as a pioneer of my own landscape. No
how-to manual was placed in my hands. There were no classes to take. I
just took one step and then another, and so that’s how I’ll write, clear on
my purpose and trusting that the path will be laid before me if I only have
the courage to begin. What you now hold in your hands is the contents of
the compartments of my life.</i><br />
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What are you being called to share, and will you too rise to the occasion?<br />
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Be well and happy.<br />
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<b>My Book is now available on Amazon: </b><b style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer" style="color: #234281; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer</a></b><br />
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<br />Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-5374989663427534202016-06-30T07:35:00.003-07:002016-09-22T08:42:46.810-07:00"Ancora Imparo"<div id="u1371-2" style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; color: #0167a9; font-family: sanvito-pro-display, serif; font-size: 22px; font-weight: 700; line-height: 22px; max-height: 1e+06px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; transform-origin: left top 0px;">
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That quote, translated as "I am still learning", is attributed to Michelangelo on his 87th birthday and could not be a more fitting phrase for my week, and my guess is for yours as well. It seems to me that we are all here learning multiple lessons, many times over. Just when we think we've mastered one particular hurdle, it presents itself directly in our path once again, only to cause us to stumble and fall.</div>
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My knees got skinned up this week as I too tripped over my own obstacles. It was a very familiar theme that I battled, that being fighting a <span id="u1371-8" style="font-style: italic;">losing</span> battle. The title of my blog is by no means an exaggeration, I am relentless. I have held strong in the face of many assaults, but the hardest war ever waged has been within myself and has been about knowing when to disengage.</div>
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A relative's verbal onslaught returned me to that place in my mind where I charged the gauntlet that had been thrown down, with the tenacity of a bulldog. I become hell bent on engaging their irrational behaviors, hoping only to convince them of their outlandish and utterly ridiculous display. That quickly I am returned to the days of my childhood where I stood toe to toe with the insanity of my parents. Then it was truly about my survival. Today, time and space allow me to see the futility in trying to convince them of anything.</div>
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I had to walk away, from the bloodshed and from them. It's one of the hardest things I had to do because I am not a quitter and my heart had hopes of bringing them into a place of healing with me. The toughest lesson for me to learn, by far, is that a smart soldier knows when to turn and leave, not admitting defeat but instead displaying acceptance. In that acceptance the rage of a warrior is replaced with the grief of saying goodbye, cutting one of the last tenuous strings that kept us connected. It was ultimately a loving act not just for myself, but for them as well as I refused to continue to remain in conflict; playing a game that had only losers.</div>
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And so, I faltered for a few days on lessons not yet fully integrated, but the good news is that I was embattled for days, and no longer years. I have learned, and clearly, am <span id="u1371-19" style="font-style: italic;">still</span> learning. I played out old energies within my mind but ultimately returned to my heart and permitted the tears to add another layer of healing to a time and place that is long gone. Today's family member had taken me there, but it was me that found my way out. I had come full circle, my dogged personality returning me to a moment of healing and truth, not a place of entanglement.</div>
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It is true, each and every one of us shall fall but the lesson is always, "What <span id="u1371-24" style="font-style: italic;">is</span> the lesson?" With that spirit in mind we will remain victorious wherever life may lead us.</div>
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Be well and happy.<br />
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<b>My Book</b>: <b style="font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; text-align: start;"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer" style="color: #ff7417;" target="_blank">http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer</a></b><br />
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-33570013978065568822016-06-18T07:54:00.003-07:002016-09-17T09:00:28.103-07:00The Practice of Practicing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There are many things I've written in these blogs that aren't news to many of my readers. The knowledge I share has been offered by numerous others in varying forms and fashions, and that's as it should be for repetition and practice appears to be one of our modalities of learning in this journey of life in which we are being schooled.</div>
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To many of those I encounter I stress that the information and techniques I share only work if <span id="u1231-8" style="font-style: italic;">they</span> work and utilize them. This, of course, sounds fairly obvious but it has been my observation that the art of practicing our teachings is where many fall short. The society in which we live is all about the quick fix and the magical pill we can pop to cure us. The processes of self-growth and awareness are indeed magical but by no means are they the fast train to ultimate bliss. They require consistent effort, and plodding if you will, on our part in order that they may be the most effective.</div>
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After all, there are very few things that we've learned that didn't require repeated and prolonged practice, like walking for example. Just as we didn't master this skill in one fell swoop, so too do we have to "fall down and get back up" as we explore spiritual and personal growth, striving to develop a new skill set. If we never had the courage to pull ourselves back to standing after that first fall, or worse yet never dared to walk at all, we would remain stagnant and stymied in our world. This truth applies to every new tool we seek to utilize, each requires a determined approach that can only come from within. Walking was demonstrated by others as they meandered about. Parents support and encourage as children strive to perfect the art of personal locomotion, but never can anyone actually do the walking for you, the true drive comes from within and takes years to fully master the coordination of the growing and developing muscles.</div>
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As we seek to develop these new practices and "muscles" we can go nowhere without applied and continual personal effort. Attending a class or reading a book is not the only level in personal growth, simply the first, as this is not an osmotic process. The healers and teachers of our world will may "carry you" at times, as a parent would a young or tired child, but always you are released to explore the world and <span id="u1231-16" style="font-style: italic;">practice</span>. It's one of the most simple and unwavering truths of growth.</div>
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I implore you to commit to making you, and the newest knowledge shared with you, a priority. The habits of our past are embedded deeply on all levels of our being and it is only with self commitment that we will slowly but surely make our way out of the confines of the old, which truly are <span id="u1231-21" style="font-style: italic;">tried</span> but oft times no longer <span id="u1231-23" style="font-style: italic;">true</span> to our present.</div>
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Be well and happy.</div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-88662351240729845262016-05-31T14:14:00.001-07:002016-05-31T14:14:10.330-07:00Popularity Contest<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I lost that
by a landslide this past week. Folks were not a fan of what I had to say,
though it was the truth. A truth that I had taken time to carefully mold and
shape so that it would land with ease within their minds and hearts. The
majority had none of it and instead attacked me personally and directly for
simply stating a fact, seeing no need to craft their words with the finesse
which I sought. I kept hearing Billy Joel sing about the loneliness of honesty.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I knew
before I made my declaration that I was entering stormy waters but after
careful thought chose to dive in anyway. Why? Because it seemed important and
because it involved children. It mattered to me because in time the children
would be the ones to ultimately pay the price, and through no fault of their
own. So I stood up and others tried to knock me down. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I won’t
pretend it felt great. Hiding behind the skirt of the internet some people can
be vicious. Nor will I proclaim that I am so virtuous that I didn’t want to
lash back with what I found to be very fitting, insightful and witty comments
to the absurdity I faced. My desire to remain neutral and not personal faded a
bit each time someone slung words my way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I knew I was
being offered a lesson, one of the hardest ones we humans face- not getting
caught up in what our fellow humans might think of us. So how exactly did I
accomplish that? Not perfectly, that’s for sure, but that was not my goal. My
goal was to bring myself back to center and my place of power each time I began
to flounder. I dug deep in my toolbox and practiced what I know to be tried and
true.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">1-I vented.
Getting it out of our head is the first healthy step to moving forward but it
is imperative that we don’t stop there or else it’s all just a bitch session
with no end. When we don’t move beyond this we keep ourselves trapped as a
victim.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">2-I focused on
the minority of the “responders” that did support me, though their numbers were
few. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">3-I chose my
battles. Some people were so invested in proving me wrong that I could have
gone back and forth with them for days, and so I chose to remain mum and in my
mind agreed to disagree. Other times I stood up for myself in an assertive fashion
by simply responding that they had the right to their thoughts but they were not
free to attack me, as I had not done so to anyone else. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">4-I reminded
myself that those that had a thing or two to say to me knew me not at all and
intentionally concentrated on the people around me that do love me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">5-I listened
to Mother Universe as quotes appeared in my day. Quotes such as: “It’s easy to
stand with the crowd. It takes courage to stand alone.” Who actually said it,
Mahatma Gandhi or Rumi, seems to be up for debate but I felt more secure with
those wise words than with what was being offered to me via my social media
responses.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">6-I took a
step back and tried to see it from the others’ perspective. I attempted to
understand what had gotten them so riled up. I asked myself and those close to
me if I could or should have done something different, while holding the space
of being open to feedback instead of defensive. I stated, “I’m willing to learn.”
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">7-I utilized
a technique called Tapping to calm my racing thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">8-My mind continually
wanted to replay the events. It was then that I would say in response- <i>No mind,</i> <i>we’re not going there. Let’s pay attention to and feel the beauty that
surrounds us instead.</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">9-I reminded
myself that it was not the crisis it felt like.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">10-And I did
it all again and again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">As the dust
settled I wondered whether it was worth it and if I would do it all again. The
answer, is yes. I concluded that the only thing I could have done differently
was to say nothing at all, but I would not have felt happy with myself if I had
chosen that route. I am here for a purpose and a cause and this situation fell
under that umbrella. So I did what I came to do- which does not include being
popular.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">I share this
all with you so that you too might know how best to handle the criticisms and
judgments of our fellow human beings. And I tell you that I could have done
none of this if I hadn’t taken the time to know myself and my truth personally.
What I did, through the years and this past week, is what we are all being
called to do. I share my path with you in hopes that you shall begin, or
continue, on yours.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Be well and
happy. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rTVHVp4D2B4/VVjzg9mZTYI/AAAAAAAAAHk/GdfvM-j5CTgmNxqBPmV01XjW7JQvGs7agCKgB/s1600/Roll_Logo_sm.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rTVHVp4D2B4/VVjzg9mZTYI/AAAAAAAAAHk/GdfvM-j5CTgmNxqBPmV01XjW7JQvGs7agCKgB/s1600/Roll_Logo_sm.png" /></a></div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-76821688638579326472016-05-17T16:09:00.001-07:002016-05-17T16:09:13.443-07:00Cloaked in Anger<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Anger is a natural human emotion, though often judged as belonging to
the out of control. It only becomes out of control when we refuse to listen to
its words. So, I’m sending you an invitation to meet your anger and chat a bit.
It has a lot to teach you. No doubt it has many unkind and hurtful things to
spew- let it out. A healthy expression might be to write it out, shout it out
when you’re all alone or punch it out onto your sofa. Most importantly do not
censor what it has come to say. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When both you and the anger feel spent I’d like to you to search for
what now lies exposed. What other feeling was hiding below the animosity? More
often than not they are the emotions that create a sense of vulnerability,
those that don’t roar with the magnitude of our dear friend anger. Feelings
such as: loneliness, sadness, grief, hurt, abandoned, unappreciated and
unloved. The feelings that make us cry and the ones society tells us are another
sign of weakness. Often shielded by anger we find a broken heart. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It is in the process of personal growth that we must give voice to our
anger and appreciation for what it has come to share but it is also a vital
step to dig deeper, because the anger is only on the surface of that which
seeks healing. When we don’t just skim the surface what we discover is the
material rich with our needs, truth and voice. My last piece of advice, fear
not any of this because the beauty that awaits- is you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri Light",sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Be well and happy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-36452219560787733962016-05-02T11:16:00.001-07:002016-05-02T11:16:15.657-07:00All or None<div class="MsoNormal">
That is how so many of us approach our lives. We invest
ourselves wholeheartedly in either avoidance or immersion after identifying a
project or issue that we deem attention worthy or in need of repair. For most,
their whole lives are spent solely in the land of All or None as a standardized
method of operation for any and all functions. Personally, I’ve preferred the
immersion technique. But it doesn’t matter which way you swing, neither is a
healthy approach. So what is?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s the place that stands smack dab in the middle of All or
None, and it is known as ‘Some’. Some doesn’t receive much credit in our
harried world. It seems to imply that we made a half ass attempt. “Faster,
harder, longer and more, more, more!” says the world. And like a good soldier,
we obey. Then we come crashing down, our resentment at an all-time high while
our energy is at its all-time low. In that space we pull a pillow over our eyes
and tell everyone and everything, including our own selves, “No more. I can’t
and I won’t.” Both extremes are caustic and do little to nurture us, those in
our life or the world at large.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What Some allows is balance. It’s the place where we can set
healthy boundaries and investments of our time. It permits us to say, “I love
you but I will not sacrifice myself in the process because I know I must tend
to my well-being also.” Some reminds us that to-do lists aren’t to be avoided
nor are they the strict script of what we are meant to accomplish in our lives.
When we strive towards personal growth Some says, “All in due time and only one
step at a time.” Some creates the space to breathe as it lacks the external and
internal pressures of All or None. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some is full of possibilities- as in somewhere, sometime, someday,
someplace, someone and something. It tells us that we have a choice and the
world is full of wonder, not dogma. Some isn’t just the middle ground, it is
also the higher one as it elevates our awareness so that we might make
conscious rather than reactive choices. Some can be our center.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I encourage you to explore what areas in your life are
calling for you to put Some into play. Give yourself permission, in <i>some</i> area of your life, to partake in
the slow and steady pace Some has to offer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Be well and happy. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-39057356009388945722016-04-25T11:46:00.001-07:002016-04-25T11:46:04.330-07:00Prince<div class="MsoNormal">
By now our world has been saturated with the tune <i>Purple Rain</i>. Everywhere we turn there is
a clip or article about his artistry or life, but none of it can fill the void.
The world still feels smaller without him among us. It made me pause and take
time to think exactly why, besides his obvious talents, he touched so many
among us in such a profound way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My goal was to describe his impact in the simplest manner
possible. What I found as I stood back, was the word authenticity. It sounds a
bit bland to describe such a vibrant being with that word but allow me to
elaborate.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Prince the performer was anything but ordinary. He sported
the most flamboyant outfits, like bikini bottoms with thigh high boots. A deep
royal purple became this petite man’s symbolic color and blurring the lines
between male and female was a magic he pulled off with the greatest of ease.
I’m not going to lie, some of his hairstyles were questionable, at least if I
saw them on my own husband; but I always thought as I gazed at him, <i>that looks good on you</i>. But then everything
always did because even though he was putting on a show, it never seemed to be
an act. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His performances were packed with deep passion and left us
dripping with the emotions found in the lyrics. Whatever we felt when we
listened to his songs, and there were a myriad of experiences, we were left
charged with life, ‘electric’ as the song <i>Let’s
Go Crazy</i> suggests. He poured his feelings into his craft and quenched the
thirst within all of us to know that part of ourselves as well.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The public persona we were permitted to witness radiated
extraordinary power and confidence, as well as humility. He seemed to know and
own who he was, his grandeur, without intentionally making others feel smaller.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He stood in front of millions, scrutinized by some no doubt,
and said through his actions, “This is who and what I am.” And he did it loud
and he did it proud. He did what we all long to do, be our truest self. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now you can see, the word authentic is anything but vanilla.
It takes great courage and resilience to live and thrive in that space,
something he appeared to pull off time and again. He was a role model for how
to stand in your power. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That is what I believe he touched in each of his fans,
permission to be who we are as individuals. Permission to be grand and humble
at the same time as we take a step away from the norm. To me, his legacy isn’t
simply the notes and words he wrote, but the dynamic energy, conviction and
passion he shared and dared us all to live.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve no doubt, he would want us all to be well and happy. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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<br /></div>
Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-9532258066028417432016-04-19T15:24:00.001-07:002016-04-19T15:24:43.387-07:00 Dot-to-Dot<div id="u1285-7" style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; max-height: 1e+06px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; transform-origin: left top 0px;">
I was involved in a conversation with an individual the other evening when suddenly I became aware that I was helping her to connect the dots. I used to love to those puzzles as a child, they gave me a real sense of completion as I saw the full picture come into focus. Apparently I'm not the only one that enjoys this activity because on the market today there are books with supremely challenging versions that have numbered points going into the 1,000's or, with complicated coordinates to follow. To take a jumbled mess and make order out of it fascinates me. <span id="u1285-5" style="font-style: italic;">That</span>, I realized as I stood deep in conversation, is what I've done with my own life for over a quarter of a century and how I support others in my practice as an alternative healer.</div>
<div id="u1285-8" style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; max-height: 1e+06px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; transform-origin: left top 0px;">
<br /></div>
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When we sit down to complete a dot-to-dot we always start at the beginning in order that we might move forward in the creation of the picture. Without those first points the picture can not reach its full completion. The same is true for our lives. It is necessary to travel to different points of our past and follow their path into our present to see the picture they are helping us to currently manifest. The picture of your today is not random but instead has a path that has led you to where you're standing at this time.</div>
<div id="u1285-11" style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; max-height: 1e+06px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; transform-origin: left top 0px;">
<br /></div>
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There's no escaping that past for it has a direct impact, consciously or unconsciously, in the creation we live today. When we go back to those significant times in our life and identify their ramifications, we can clearly see how those that have been left unresolved are played out in our present lives. The same or similar thoughts, patterns, fears and energies play out again and again from those unhealed events, the dots always connecting back in time.</div>
<div id="u1285-14" style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; max-height: 1e+06px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; transform-origin: left top 0px;">
<br /></div>
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If we have the courage to visit those points of our past or wounded self, we will find that the power to create a new vision of our present moment emerges. By bringing awareness to those key events in our history we begin to discover a new expression of ourselves and our lives for the future; a new picture materializes. Our power lies not in denying or running from what came before but in revisiting it with the intentions to understand its purpose and lessons.</div>
<div id="u1285-17" style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; max-height: 1e+06px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify; transform-origin: left top 0px;">
<br /></div>
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Just like the puzzles offered today, this can prove to be super challenging and daunting at times but never have I heard another bemoan their choice to more fully understand themselves. I have found that it is as we connect the dots that the full beauty of our being unfolds before our eyes, the picture of our true selves taking form with greater clarity. Out of chaos order appears.</div>
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Be well and happy.</div>
Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-41537990181437564692016-04-11T06:30:00.000-07:002016-04-11T06:30:03.898-07:00Listening Ears<div class="MsoNormal">
I used to use that phrase with my kids when they were young
and I wanted their attention. “Do you have your listening ears on?” I would
ask. It was actually quite an effective little technique and this past week or
so I heard the universe asking me the same question. I was being called to
listen and observe and this is what I discovered:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*There are times in
our lives when we need to remain silent and allow the truths to speak to us
instead of being intent on speaking the truth.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*None of us has all
the answers but we each have some and that makes each one of us a valuable
piece of life’s puzzle.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*It’s a relief to know
that we are under no obligation to make sense to others. It’s annoying to
realize they are also under no obligation to make sense to us.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*A befitting response
to the sentence, “That’s the way people raised kids back then…” is: “Yes, but
it still hurt.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*The best return you,
and our world, will ever receive on an investment is the one you’ve made on
striving to love, honor, respect and nurture your children.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*Children grow older
and become the adults you admire most in this world.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*Not all children grow
older so be sure to take more time to admire them rather than correct them.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*When we are alive
others are focused on what’s wrong with us. When we die people only speak of
our glory. Neither is an accurate portrait.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*The things that need
to be said most are the ones people are afraid to talk about.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*Your story is
important to someone somewhere. Tell it, even if it’s not important to
everyone.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*When your body says,
“Stop,” it is wise to listen for it is far more intelligent than your mind.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*The medical
profession and those in it are profound gifts to our lives; it is also a source
of limited knowledge and misinformation. Remember that when you are making
health care decisions for yourself and your loved ones. Ask. Research. Learn.
And do it all again so that you might make an informed decision, not an
unconscious one.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*If you are willing to
offer a complaint about service be sure that you are just as willing to share a
compliment.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*Sometimes your
opinion is invaluable and other times it means nothing at all. It’s best to
know the difference between the two and act accordingly.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*A lot of people want
to know how to do it but very few are willing to take the time and make the
commitment to do it.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*Silence is healing.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*So is being alone.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*Children pretend in
order to expand their world and the magic in it. Adults pretend in order to
deny their problems and issues until their world becomes a shrunken and
isolating place lacking any magic.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*There’s no way that I
can share all that my listening ears have captured. Some things are meant to be
learned on your own.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>*Everything I’ve just
shared is nothing new. You and I have heard it all before and we’ll hear it a
thousand times more and in a thousand different ways until we get it, or we
don’t…<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No doubt the universe is calling to you too. Do you have
your listening ears on? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Be well and happy. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-73596382903293549812016-03-28T09:50:00.001-07:002016-09-28T07:38:23.734-07:00 Hopeless Case<div class="MsoNormal">
There’s really no hope for you. Whatever it is you might be
struggling with will haunt you the rest of your life. You are destined to
repeat your life of pain again and again, simply passing it on to the next
generation so that they too might live a life of despondency. Your suffering
will be most especially amplified if another has hurt you and through their
death they have left you with no apology for their wrongs. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, you’re still reading? I thought I might have created
such a bleak picture above that you have since slipped into the putrid bowels
of depression and despair, or that a sense of self-preservation caused you to
avert your eyes from the page. It’s a hellish rendition of how life might be
lived, one that I stumbled across and read, that only left me bewildered and
shocked.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I read the passage posted by this other individual I
gasped. Out loud. And then I cringed as the echoes of ‘<i>No, don’t tell people that!’ </i>rang through my head. Obviously it was
an authentic account of that person’s experience but one that I long to shine
some light upon so that they, and those that might take it as gospel, can
potentially see matters from a fresher, more inspiring and less somber
perspective.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I wanted to say to the other writer is, “Please don’t <i>ever</i> take away peoples’ hope. Often
times it is the one and only thing that can keep us going.” In my own life I have known this to be true
as I sought healing from childhood abuses and the absence of apologies for
those actions. Hope gave me the courage to move on, however slow and painful it
might have been. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hope was a whisper of insight, inspiration and possibliites.
Hope was the gentle guiding hands of an angel that said, “Come this way.” Hope
made me open my eyes, lift my head that had been hung in defeat and see the
promise of a new day, a new dawn within me. Hope said don’t give up because I
haven’t given up on you. Hope carried me when the agony left me weak. Hope was
my life-line. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, to suggest that the circumstances of our torment are
meant only to be a festering mess strips away our power and purpose for life.
It says that we are to live only from a place of victimhood and that our
happiness relies solely on what it is we receive or suffer from another. It
implies that our life is pointless, a virtual Groundhog’s Day of anguish that
bleeds into eternity. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I cannot say it strongly enough, it doesn’t have to be this
way. There is another choice, and it is hope that can take us there.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You will be asked to be the master of your life, not a
puppet. You will be called to comfort, soothe and validate all that seeks
healing within. You, not someone else. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No longer will you naively imagine that an apology will vanquish
all the misery. You will cease to long for the apology that never was, knowing
that even if it were to present itself there are still emotions and thoughts
anchored to the hurtful events that call your attention. You will come to stand
in your power and not hand it over to the people around you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And it is hope that can take us there. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Will it be pleasant stroll in the park? Probably not. But
the places you will come to know within yourself will only become more magical
as hope casts a dusting of glimmer on your personal landscape. You will know
your purpose, and it will be to love yourself, the wounds that were your
teachers, and the stumbling blocks that took you down a path you couldn’t have
foreseen- but hope did. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I beg of you, don’t release your grip on hope. I offer it to
you so that you too might find your way out of the darkness. I promise you,
hope will take you there because that is what it has done for me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Be well and happy.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<b>My Book</b>: <b style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer" style="color: #ff7417;" target="_blank">http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer</a></b></div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-85497612790044226762016-03-21T14:29:00.003-07:002016-03-21T14:32:00.896-07:00Fear-full to Fear-less<div class="MsoNormal">
Fear came to call on me since last we met, like a
cacophonous parade unleashed in my mind. I was being faced with decisions and
fear had one too many thoughts on how I should, or should not, proceed. Mostly
should not, because it kept rattling off all the reasons why I must do an about
face on a project I hold dear to me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fear bought the notion that it was protecting me. I’m not going to lie, it had some valid points. In truth,
the messages it was sending me were based in facts from my past. But that’s the
point, it was programming from my past. What I was to do in the present had me
tossing and turning as I took time to sort through the gnarled mess that was
before me, and it was a mess.<br />
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The most basic form of self-preservation yanked me back, all
efforts focused on chaining me in place lest I do something radical, like speak
my truth. The world isn’t always a fan of truth, many in it would prefer I
continue to play nice and deny my experience. And fear whispered louder and
louder that that indeed would be in my best interest. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Initially I bought everything that fear was selling. Sit
down and shut up seemed like it might just be the easiest way. Soon enough I
realized that initially it might be the road of least resistance but began to
question if it would it be in-line with the greater good that I hoped to serve.
Following fear’s lead seemed to be more an act of selfishness, one of self-preservation,
as I felt myself shrinking into a corner instead of standing in the expanse of
my light. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But fear is a tenacious bastard and soon had me wondering
again<i>, but what if?</i> Yes, we’ve all
danced with that question many times and for many reasons in our life. There
are loads of possible answers to that query. I decided that dividing that
question into two different mindsets would help me to see with greater clarity as
to how I might continue. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I made a mental list of potential outcomes, both desired and
undesirable, for the questions: <i>What if I</i>
<i>do?</i> <i>What if
I don’t?</i> That was when fear began to lose some of its hold on me. I
understood that not continuing on the path I had begun would leave me
disappointed in myself. Others will always have their thoughts and opinions but
what I needed to focus on was my own sense of self, and I didn’t want to let
myself down by letting fear be my guiding force. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With that I had to own that there may be some unfavorable
outcomes for myself and a few others, but ultimately I sensed that a greater
good would be served if I had the courage to continue to move forward. My
project wasn’t just to benefit me, but many.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In writing about this it all sounds so fluid but I must say
that it was a tumultuous process. Fear had me crawling into my own mind,
feeling depressed and despondent, and unable to see a larger picture. I was
beginning to believe my fearful thoughts. I must say it was quite uncomfortable
but despite that it still it took great effort to pull myself out of that
mindset. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had to force myself to literally get outside, of my own
head and house. Walks in nature served to remind me of the vastness and
complexity of our world. With that perspective my issue suddenly seemed a bit
of minutia in the whole cosmic play and I also began to tap into the universe’s
desire to only and always support me. I was not alone.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, I was not alone and so I had to reach out to those in
my life that could display and offer the support I needed. I shared my story
with others and with each telling my vision became clearer, I found myself
again. And it was when I reconnected to me, not fear, that I knew and
understood what direction I next needed and wanted to take.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With my intentions in site once more, I was able to reflect
back on where I had been. What I realized that I was making a common mistake, I
was looking for a way that I might still fulfill my goals without any
discomfort on my part. I was not accepting the situation for what it was and
instead was unsuccessfully trying to mold it into something it was not. I was
fighting the reality of what stood before me and it was only through processing
that I threw in my sword and embraced its totality. There were no short cuts to
take, the only way through it was through it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lastly, I was unknowingly scrambling to find a way to move
forward without any fear. Again, not an uncommon approach taken by us when
faced with a challenge, but one that is often done in vain. So I say to you,
there is still some fear attached to my choices but it is courage that
prevails; and courage tells me to carry on despite the fear. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so I will.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is fear whispering to you? How is fear tossing you
about in a challenge that faces you? Your choice is no different than mine,
step into the river of fear and be swept away further from your truth or
painstakingly wade to the banks of mindfulness. Which will you choose? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Be well and happy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-24050604311229728322016-03-07T09:29:00.000-08:002016-03-07T09:29:04.211-08:00Complimentary Gift<div class="MsoNormal">
This week’s post is a great follow up from our discussion
last week about judgment, or at least I think so.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would categorize myself as not the most outgoing
individual. I’d prefer not to waste time and effort on idle chatter. I’m quite
content to keep to myself and in fact can spend hours alone with no TV or
distractions of any sort. I just kind of go about my business, both at home and
out in the world. But I decided to change things up a bit and I must say the
results have been successful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This week as I meandered about in my community I
intentionally gave others compliments or well wishes. When my eyes landed on
the latest stranger coming my way I scanned the situation in an effort to share
a kind word. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t offer anything necessarily grand, just a whisper of
thoughtfulness. I saw a noticeably pregnant woman and wished her luck in her
obviously near adventure. One particular shopper looked quite dapper in his
purple shirt and tie and so I told him so. I even told one woman I liked her
eyebrows! I know it sounds silly but she had clearly put a lot of time and
effort into the stellar shape of her brows and I thought they looked cool, so I
told her. I was always genuine in what I would say.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Each time something caught my attention I would share my
offering with its intended receiver, and on I went. I must admit it was quite
fun, sort of like a treasure hunt and it was heartwarming to see a flicker of
gratitude spark in someone else’s eyes. Although- the eyes did prove to be the
one of the challenges in my little adventure because sooo many people do not
make eye contact as they’re going about the world and so it was hard to get
their focus, but I persevered.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I’m glad I did because I felt joyous after my jaunts. I
realized that my experiment was a service to me as well. With my mind consumed
by my charitable goal it had no space for critical judgment (See that’s where
last week’s blog comes into play.) and I liked that lighter feeling.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Perhaps this next week you too can step out of your comfort
zone in order that you might provide a loving moment to those that may cross
your path. Let them know for an instant that they matter and that they were
seen. I promise you, you too will be on the receiving end of your own sense of
comfort.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Be well and happy.</div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-73664036064474199702016-02-29T09:00:00.000-08:002016-02-29T09:00:10.281-08:00Judgment Days<div id="u1156-2">
<br /></div>
<div id="u1156-5">
From our very conception we have been judged. In the name of health and well-being nurses and doctors tracked our growth to be sure we were developing as expected. Once born, we are bathed in an environment of opposites that teaches us about ourselves, our world and others. You are good or bad. Situations are black or white. Things are hot or cold. There seems to be nothing that exists that doesn't have a defined opposite.</div>
<div id="u1156-6">
<br /></div>
<div id="u1156-8">
We become so adept at judgment that oft times it is done without any conscious thought or intent. In mere moments we scan a situation or person, assessing and categorizing them based on our personal intake. It appears that there are no humans that escape this modus operandi. I would like to say I am the exception to the rule, but I would be lying. I have met a few who piously claim they are not judgmental, only to find them several days later calling another a "jerk". Just for the record, that falls under the category of judgmental.</div>
<div id="u1156-9">
<br /></div>
<div id="u1156-11">
We are also taught to not judge others, a judgment of judgment thrown into the mix to add further to the conundrum we find ourselves immersed in; judgment now becoming a moral dilemma. This dictate feels futile for as we discussed earlier, that's our navigational system for our entire existence and we are simply left to feel even more judgmental; this time, about ourselves.</div>
<div id="u1156-12">
<br /></div>
<div id="u1156-18">
In fact, we believe so strongly in our judgments that we begin to believe with great conviction that we are the almighty "right". Surely when <span id="u1156-14">we're</span> right, <span id="u1156-16">they</span> must be wrong; solidifying polarization on an even deeper level as we place ourselves on the "I'm superior to you" pedestal.</div>
<div id="u1156-19">
<br /></div>
<div id="u1156-21">
So if we can't completely escape what appears to have been hardwired into our brains, where does that leave us? I do not profess to have all the answers, only the ones that have worked for me thus far, as I'm a work in progress.</div>
<div id="u1156-22">
<br /></div>
<div id="u1156-29">
<span id="u1156-23">Step one is acceptance.</span> Based on the knowledge that we can't function in this realm without the tool of judgment, we need to honestly accept that this is part of our humanity. Please note I said <span id="u1156-25">part</span> of our humanity, not <span id="u1156-27">all</span>. That's key because that's where step two comes into play.</div>
<div id="u1156-30">
<br /></div>
<div id="u1156-35">
<span id="u1156-31">Step two is conscious decisions.</span> Now that we know and understand our dynamics a bit more, we can make more informed choices as we travel about our days. Which "part" of ourselves are we going to put into action? I suggest you ask yourself this the next time you become aware of a judgmental thought: "Is this necessary or important?" If the thoughts rattling around in your brain are simply commenting on the humid weather, than perhaps that's a necessary observation as you might need or want to seek physical comfort. But, if you're focus is the unfortunate size and shape of the woman's butt that happens to be in front of you, I'd put that on the spectrum of "not important". Here lies your choice and this is one of the tools I utilize when I find myself traveling down the "not necessary" road, I abruptly cease my judgmental thought and simply say in my mind to that individual, "May you be happy and healthy." It really can be that simple, and in keeping with the concept of judgment, is a much kinder approach to others that allows you the chance to then not get caught up in the vicious cycle of <span id="u1156-33">self</span>-judgment.</div>
<div id="u1156-36">
<br /></div>
<div id="u1156-41">
<span id="u1156-37">Step three is realizing that you are part of the problem.</span> Indeed there may be times when we are "right". Aunt Sally is downing a case of beer a day and she doesn't understand your concern with this behavior, that falls under the category of being "right". Being "right" does not automatically put one in the category of superior, however, and that's where we actually convey an energy that is more likely to keep another <span id="u1156-39">more</span> entrenched in the exact behavior or action we have been judging. I think we can all agree that no one responds well to being judged. An air of judgment headed our way usually puts us in a defensive mode, feeling as though we need to justify and truly protect ourselves. Thus, we are more likely to disregard and discount another's suggestions or insights and stay fully enmeshed in the behavior or mode that is in question.</div>
<div id="u1156-42">
<br /></div>
<div id="u1156-45">
<span id="u1156-43">Step four is being an example.</span> As hard as we try, and we have all tried too many times to count, we can not control another's behaviors. Perhaps our role in each others' lives is not to be the judge and jury, but simply an example. Emulate the behavior and actions you suggest another embody, that is the only place our power lies and is one that is more likely to create or support a change in others.</div>
<div id="u1156-46">
<br /></div>
<div id="u1156-49">
<span id="u1156-47">Step five is to repeat, repeat, repeat all the steps listed above.</span> In practicing a less judgmental approach we are not always going to get it "right", don't worry I'm not judging you, but we can "get it better".</div>
<div id="u1156-50">
<br /></div>
<div id="u1156-52">
Be well and happy.</div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-55376349179685940462016-02-22T15:35:00.003-08:002016-02-22T15:35:59.479-08:00Gardening<div class="MsoNormal">
We’re all gardeners. Personally, I despise the traditional
sense of gardening. I’ve planted plenty of veggies and such in days gone by and
am left with unpleasant memories of the whole process. (<i>I just heard a gasp from one of the readers that loves to toil in their
garden as they connect to the Earth and the plants with their dirt encrusted
fingers. Okay, well, that’s not my thing. Can we move on?) </i>Today, I simply
love to eat the fruits of another’s labors. Enough said. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, exactly what type of gardening am I talking about? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m referring to the seeds we plant each and every day into
one another’s minds and lives. Sometimes we do it with intention because it’s
part of our vocation or because our input has been sought, and in other
instances it occurs quite inconspicuously as we engage in conversation with
each other. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The seeds are as varied as the plant life we encounter on
our planet, taking the form of words, ideas and actions both small and large.
They are a hybrid of our own life lived. In planting these seeds we have
offered someone potential- for growth, change and possibilities. A new way of
thinking, feeling, living and experiencing their life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So now you see these seeds are indeed quite powerful and
meaningful to our existence together. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Some may blossom right before our eyes as a new
understanding comes to life for the person sitting across from us. Most,
however, appear to lie dormant and soon enough we become distracted and move on
to the next plot, known as a person, in hopes of seeing yet another kernel that
we’ve planted bud. Unfortunately, we are not often rewarded with witnessing the
manifestations of most seeds we’ve sown. And that, I have learned, is as it
should be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unlike the farmer that gathers his crops, we are not meant
to harvest all that we’ve planted. It is not about us and what we have done,
dear ego, but is simply an offering to another to do with as they deem fitting.
Our ego wants to see and know that we’ve made a difference or had an impact. But
the soul is not attached to the outcome whatsoever because it knows that the
very act of planting a seed has changed that individual forever, no matter if
we observe its fruition.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t believe me? Call to mind the traditional sense of
gardening I’ve mentioned above. When we put that physical seed in the ground,
even the tiniest of seeds has shifted the earth around it. Nothing will ever be
the same once its presence has been known. So too it is with that which we sow
in the lives of our fellow human beings, and that’s enough. And that’s
beautiful. Be like the wind, content to plant a seed and knowing that when the
time is right it shall bloom forth in all its glory. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Be well and happy.</div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-2347598575951934012016-02-15T08:31:00.004-08:002016-02-15T08:31:50.265-08:00Problematic<div class="MsoNormal">
Part of me feels like I shouldn’t be writing about this
topic at all because you already know the truth of what I’m about to say. Yet,
I found myself explaining this truth to a few individuals since last we chatted
and for me that’s a sign to put it out there, thus I will. But, perhaps we will keep it short and simple
because it really is not complicated. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Any time there is an issue in any relationship, not just an
intimate one but most especially an intimate one, someone needs to be brave
enough to bring it to light. We’ve all been guilty of letting the fear of a
possible increase in the conflict snap our mouths closed. We say nothing lest
it create more tension- at least that’s our initial theory.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But… you know what I’m about to say, don’t you? Ignoring the
issue only fuels the energy behind it and eventually it, and you, will implode
and explode. The implosion is like a slow death as the distance between the
individuals becomes a vast chasm, each person pulling into themselves. The
explosion is the grand finale where everyone must duck for cover because words,
thoughts, feelings and actions have been weaponized while passing time in their
bunker of resentment. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The practice of keeping your mouth shut to keep the peace is
a disaster waiting to happen, and it often does. Nothing can be rectified if
never owned or spoken of; and by the time it shoots like a cannon into your
life, that small, initial irritation has become a systemic cancer that devours
your relationship. <o:p></o:p></div>
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See, you know this. You get what I’m saying, yet so many
times I witness the deer in the headlights stare as others dare to contemplate
discussing a serious concern with someone in their life. We’ve all been there. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And if we do dare to speak our truth in an attempt at
honesty, we cringe when the others’ reaction is less than favorable. <i>See, I never should have said anything </i>is
our first thought. But the problem isn’t in saying something, the<i> problem</i> is the problem; and by zipping
our mouths shut tight we only make it bigger and badder. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, what I offer you this week is a refresher course on the
importance communicating with those in your life, it is an act of love that we
all deserve.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Be well and happy.</div>
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(Per Google you are now required to have a Google account in order to read/follow this blog. My hope is that you consider doing just that.)</div>
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-85452223331134540902016-02-09T13:45:00.002-08:002016-09-22T13:39:03.616-07:00Body Language<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m going to suggest something that many of you have never
considered, it’s time to talk to your body. Better yet,<i> listen</i> to your body. You know that ache or lingering illness
you’ve been dealing with? It’s a message that you shouldn’t ignore or simply
mask with the latest newfangled medicine, despite what the commercial says.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I don’t suggest that you suffer. Please, seek and take
medical advice as you deem fit but don’t stop there. After you’ve chatted with
the doc, or even before, make time for a tete-a-tete with the physical form
where you reside. Chances are you feel a bit befuddled as to how to begin that
process, no one ever took the time to teach us said skill when we were tooling
about in our childhood forms, but it’s all really quite simple. <o:p></o:p></div>
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First take note of what body part(s) are calling your
attention, perhaps via sickness or any form of discomfort. Step two is
comprised of questions for that part, or parts, that you’ve now noticed. Potential
questions might be, “What are you trying to teach or show me?” or, “What
emotion is being held in this space?” and most importantly, “What do you need
from me?” <o:p></o:p></div>
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Some find this direct approach a bit overwhelming, as though
they’re attempting to converse with another from some foreign land and cannot
get past the communication barrier. This is when we put visualization into
play. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Once more, give focus to those body parts calling to you,
and this time identify what it is you see there. It may be a color, an energy
or any of the upteen billion possible physical manifestations that we might
know or create with our imagination. The sky’s the limit here, meaning there is
no right or wrong thing to see in your mind’s eye. Take note of the feeling or
energy conveyed by what it is you observe. Lastly, imagine that the vision you
are holding can speak. What would it say? What message does it come to share? <o:p></o:p></div>
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It is in these 1:1’s that you will learn what lies yet
unresolved in your being and what you can do to transform and heal those
aspects. Your body will readily divulge its secrets and wisdoms to you, you
need only take time to ask.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Some might find it odd that I suggest a conversation with
our bodies, but perhaps it’s even odder that we are housed in this shell of
skin and bones for, well, our entire life, and forget to communicate with it.
I’m sure you’ve heard of the whole mind-body connection thing, but let’s take
it to another level and utilize our minds to actually connect with the body. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Most often our response to any physical distress is
frustration, yet we fail to realize that for many of our days here on Earth our
bodies take a beating from a vast array of sources. A large majority of those
assaults come from our own hands, the choices we’ve made all the days leading
up to the varying ailments. The technique I discuss above opts for compassion
for our bodies versus annoyance. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Here’s another secret, you don’t have to wait until your
body is in misery before listening to what it has to share. It’s been talking
to you all along, you’ve simply taken it for granted and ignored its previous
calls. It’s a private number, one no medical professional can gain access to
because it is the wisdom and teaching that reside solely within you. Perhaps
it’s time to say ‘hello’ to the stranger sitting in the same seat as you, that which
your soul literally embodies.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Be well and happy.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
My Book: <b style="background-color: white; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer" style="color: #ff7417;" target="_blank">http://tinyurl.com/Relentlessbyspringer</a></b><br />
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Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3005606661816991294.post-18835143504695803862016-02-05T06:58:00.002-08:002016-02-05T06:58:42.827-08:00Judgment Days<div id="u1156-2">
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From our very conception we have been judged. In the name of health and well-being nurses and doctors tracked our growth to be sure we were developing as expected. Once born, we are bathed in an environment of opposites that teaches us about ourselves, our world and others. You are good or bad. Situations are black or white. Things are hot or cold. There seems to be nothing that exists that doesn't have a defined opposite.</div>
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We become so adept at judgment that oft times it is done without any conscious thought or intent. In mere moments we scan a situation or person, assessing and categorizing them based on our personal intake. It appears that there are no humans that escape this modus operandi. I would like to say I am the exception to the rule, but I would be lying. I have met a few who piously claim they are not judgmental, only to find them several days later calling another a "jerk". Just for the record, that falls under the category of judgmental.</div>
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We are also taught to not judge others, a judgment of judgment thrown into the mix to add further to the conundrum we find ourselves immersed in; judgment now becoming a moral dilemma. This dictate feels futile for as we discussed earlier, that's our navigational system for our entire existence and we are simply left to feel even more judgmental; this time, about ourselves.</div>
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In fact, we believe so strongly in our judgments that we begin to believe with great conviction that we are the almighty "right". Surely when <span id="u1156-14">we're</span> right, <span id="u1156-16">they</span> must be wrong; solidifying polarization on an even deeper level as we place ourselves on the "I'm superior to you" pedestal.</div>
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So if we can't completely escape what appears to have been hardwired into our brains, where does that leave us? I do not profess to have all the answers, only the ones that have worked for me thus far, as I'm a work in progress.</div>
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<span id="u1156-23">Step one is acceptance.</span> Based on the knowledge that we can't function in this realm without the tool of judgment, we need to honestly accept that this is part of our humanity. Please note I said <span id="u1156-25">part</span> of our humanity, not <span id="u1156-27">all</span>. That's key because that's where step two comes into play.</div>
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<span id="u1156-31">Step two is conscious decisions.</span> Now that we know and understand our dynamics a bit more, we can make more informed choices as we travel about our days. Which "part" of ourselves are we going to put into action? I suggest you ask yourself this the next time you become aware of a judgmental thought: "Is this necessary or important?" If the thoughts rattling around in your brain are simply commenting on the humid weather, than perhaps that's a necessary observation as you might need or want to seek physical comfort. But, if you're focus is the unfortunate size and shape of the woman's butt that happens to be in front of you, I'd put that on the spectrum of "not important". Here lies your choice and this is one of the tools I utilize when I find myself traveling down the "not necessary" road, I abruptly cease my judgmental thought and simply say in my mind to that individual, "May you be happy and healthy." It really can be that simple, and in keeping with the concept of judgment, is a much kinder approach to others that allows you the chance to then not get caught up in the vicious cycle of <span id="u1156-33">self</span>-judgment.</div>
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<span id="u1156-37">Step three is realizing that you are part of the problem.</span> Indeed there may be times when we are "right". Aunt Sally is downing a case of beer a day and she doesn't understand your concern with this behavior, that falls under the category of being "right". Being "right" does not automatically put one in the category of superior, however, and that's where we actually convey an energy that is more likely to keep another <span id="u1156-39">more</span> entrenched in the exact behavior or action we have been judging. I think we can all agree that no one responds well to being judged. An air of judgment headed our way usually puts us in a defensive mode, feeling as though we need to justify and truly protect ourselves. Thus, we are more likely to disregard and discount another's suggestions or insights and stay fully enmeshed in the behavior or mode that is in question.</div>
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<span id="u1156-43">Step four is being an example.</span> As hard as we try, and we have all tried too many times to count, we can not control another's behaviors. Perhaps our role in each others' lives is not to be the judge and jury, but simply an example. Emulate the behavior and actions you suggest another embody, that is the only place our power lies and is one that is more likely to create or support a change in others.</div>
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<span id="u1156-47">Step five is to repeat, repeat, repeat all the steps listed above.</span> In practicing a less judgmental approach we are not always going to get it "right", don't worry I'm not judging you, but we can "get it better".</div>
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Be well and happy.<br />
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(One business note: Per Google you will now be required to have a Google account in order to read/follow this blog. I hope you consider doing just that.)<br />
<br />
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<br />Kellie Springerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00187501746881731067noreply@blogger.com0